Foreign Policy: the 3rd Rate In Flight Magazine for JFK to Dulles

Perhaps you’ve seen this iPad ad:

The iPad is…what? Delicious. Current. Learning. Playful. Literary. Artful. Scientific? Of course, you know it’s not really any of these things. Whenever an advertiser uses adjectives to describe a product, he’s not describing the product, he’s describing you. Or, I should say, you want to believe he’s describing you. You think you are literary and artful and, by the power of totem and relics, you hope mere propinquity to this sacred object enhances those things about you. But it doesn’t.

I now ask you to turn to Foreign Policy’s list of Top 100 Thinkers, which isn’t a list of thinkers at all. It was written by advertisers calling themselves journalists, hoping you’ll call yourself a thinker after reading it. For you will think that by recognizing these names, and nodding your head to express familiarity, you’re a thinker too, but of course you haven’t thought about any thing at all. The flight into Dulles has entered its final descent and you’re happy there’s a car waiting for you.

If there were ever a yearbook for anti-competitive government, this is probably it.